DEAR DIARY| My depression story

by - Monday, June 22, 2015


Life often times is not as perfect as it seem for most people- we laugh, smile, put on our best clothes , have our faces made up by professional MUA like everything is perfect but in reality we  have minute/big things we are battling with as individuals.

I'm Damie Alabi and this is my depression story.
Growing up for me was moral, I do not know why I always use that word but that's the best way to describe it. I was gentle more like reserved, I feared/respected my elders(which I still do) ,I did very well in school, I was/am an introvert, I mind my business etc....I was basically the perfect child( its no hype, just fact). My super amazing parents provided everything I needed note the word needed not wanted and they instilled in me the right values.
You are wondering, what does the first paragraph have to do with anything, it has a lot infact everything to do with my depression story. Imagine me a 'perfect child' with all her needs provided by her parents being depressed, what could be the possible reason for this?
I mentioned my post- problems of a fat girl- that growing up as an 'orobo'/overweight child wasn't fun at all. People in school would call me names( which I am used to now) , insult me and trample on my self confidence(which I finally got back after all these years). All of these things coupled led to serious depression for me. Although my parents have always been  a strong driving force for me but there's little to what they can do.
My level of depression reached its peak in 2014, yes just last year. It was so bad that I began to have crazy thoughts and also I planned on  leaving my life behind to start afresh. You are probably wondering by now, what kind of person is Damie, why will she think of these things? The truth is only victims of depression can understand the effects depression.
Its difficult for me to share this story with you 'cos I feel its what I have battled with for a few years but 'cos I am free of depression and weird thoughts, I can share this story with you.
I'll put up a post really soon on how I overcame depression and how you can but the basic thing you need to know is share your problems with someone, let it go rather than bottle it up. like they say 'a problem shared is half solved'
I know , you are probably not depressed 'cos you are fat like me or you are being bullied, it could be the loss of someone special, your job or things are not just going as they ought to- its going to be alright.
I'm a testimony of God's love, you can be too.

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8 comments

  1. Oh my, i understand what you are going through. i was also made fun of my nose, ears and till today i hate my nose and have pretty bad self esteem because i believe only girls with small noses are pretty. But i have never had depression to the point of wanting to kill myself, i just believe things will be better and try to work towards my plans. Goodluck on your battle dear.

    Simply Uneeke

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    1. I'm surprised that people made fun of your nose. In sure in due time you will build your self esteem to an unshakable point.
      Thanks dear for visiting and sharing.

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  2. awww.. i was depressed when I was younger, i had skinny legs and that wasn't fun when people laugh at you but am here today and loving it
    fashionitazbybuiti.blogspot.com

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    1. It's amazing how the flaws people find in you and make fun off is what makes you pretty. Thanks Buiti for sharing

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  3. Oh wow... I am in love with thee already... Biko **goes down on one knee then **clears thoat.. wihh you marry me?! I promise to not cheat more than once a week... heheheh... Okay iKid... I love the fact that you came out plain... I mean you are as open as a book on this post... and it's ghen ghen people like thee that make blogger an Ossshhheeeeyyy Turn uP place... **winks... That said... Baby mi... Truth is I have been depressed before... no scratch that ayam depressed now sef... but the heavens and life as a whole has taught this 23 years 6 months and 19 days old Young and utterly confused boy abi na man (Pick one ;)) that eeezz neFer that deep biko... I mean we will neFer and I mean NEFFFFER have it perfect... so why stress it... Instead of stay sad and mushy mushy about the life I don't have... I have turned my regrets and anguish into dreams... hehehhe you need to see my Instagram page... I dream pass Oga Joseph for bible sef...I have turned my pain into a smile... I mean thank GOD for my Blog mother Janyl Benyl... Thank GOD for blogger...

    You know what amma gonna do ehnnn Dami toh fine bi Agbani.. amma gonna (**winks Ooooooossshhheeeyy see me going all Ammercannah on thee... choi a neFer heXspeRRed it...) hehehehhe ehen as I was goona doingggg... **smiles... I am going to write your URL on my Diary and visit you once a weeke (Whether you visit my Blog in return or not) Dami ya ghen ghen like that... GOD is not done with you Baby mi... GOD is not done with us... **wears Mr.Nigeria smile... He is just geRRing started...


    Sent from inside keke somewhere in Orile :)

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    1. This your comment ehn is divine, made my day.
      I'm glad you have realized that one can't be sad and depressed 'cos it's waste if your precious life.
      Thanks for stopping by and this post Length comment, means alot.

      Delete
  4. I can soooo relate with this. I grew up big too, till I went on my weightloss journey and I am still on it. And what I realized is that weight or no weightgain, we are beautiful. We must learn to see ourselves as God's eyes we are perfect.
    We must know that truth too.
    Glad you got your mojo back Damie.

    And oh, I did write a post on beauty related with weight gain
    Might be a great addition to this..

    http://www.imperfectlyperfectlives.com/you-are-beautiful-with-or-without-the-extra-10kg-or-more/

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    Replies
    1. Self love is key, glad you learnt with and without extra pounds on flesh.
      Thanks for visiting!!!

      Delete

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